A Yiddish curse is a small work of architecture: it starts with a blessing, builds you a hundred houses, and
then sets them on fire. Take a number and get served.
קללות
Now serving
No. 18
Today's special
Your klole, hot off the slicer
The Insult Menu
Served by the pound · No substitutions
Shlemielשלעמיל
The clumsy one who spills the soup. “A shlemiel falls on his back and breaks his nose.”
Shlimazlשלימזל
The unlucky one the soup lands on. Never stand next to a shlemiel.
Nudnikנודניק
A pest who calls you three times about the same thing, then asks why you sound tired.
Shmendrikשמענדריק
A nobody who thinks he's a somebody. Wears a tie to take out the garbage.
Kvetshקוועטש
A chronic complainer. The soup is too hot, and also there isn't enough of it.
Nebekhנעבעך
A sad sack. When a nebekh leaves the room, it feels like someone came in.
Ganefגנב
A thief, or a charming crook. Also said fondly of a grandchild who steals the last rugelach.
Shnorerשנאָרער
A freeloader who arrives empty-handed and leaves with the leftovers and your Tupperware.
Khazerחזיר
Literally “pig.” A glutton who takes four pieces of brisket “to be polite.”
Klotsקלאָץ
A block of wood. Clumsy in body and in conversation.
Meshugenerמשוגענער
A crazy person. Usually your uncle, usually about the parking.
Trombenikטראָמבעניק
A blowhard. All trumpet, no tune.
Shmegegge—
A drip, a nothing, and also the nonsense he talks. Pure American Yiddish.
Farbisenerפֿאַרביסענער
A sourpuss. Looks like he bit into a lemon in 1974 and never recovered.